MY SOUL, MY SOUL

Copyright (C) 1977, Judaic Book Service
Reprinted with the permission of
the Holy Beggars of the House of Love and Prayer

Not for commercial redistribution without
consent of the estate of Reb Shlomo Carlebach

MY SOUL, MY SOUL

a meditation by Reb Arele Roth
rendered by Reb Shlomo Carlebach

    My soul, my soul, please remember the G-d that created you and
formed you and put you in the world. Remember the awesomeness
of everything He did for you, from the moment you were conceived
until you were formed. While you were still incomplete He took
care of your sustenance, and the instant you were born everything
was ready for you. Remember how much chen, how much holy
charm G-d gave you so your parents would love you. Basically you
were an ugly little baby. When you came out you weren’t so beautiful,
but because of the chen G-d gave you, your parents thought you
were the cutest thing in the whole world and the most perfect being
there ever was. How can you forget all this?

    Remember all the things He did for you personally, how He took
care of you. Remember also what He did for all of Israel. Remember
all the unbelievable miracles. How can you forget how much G-d is
taking care of us? Why are you so lazy when it comes to doing good
things? Why don’t you accept the yoke of Heaven to learn and to
serve Him with strength? How long will you live in the world of
fantasy? Of lies? How long will you despise your own holy soul? How
long will you live asleep? How long will you not have rachmanus,
have pity on your own self?

    The world we know of is unbelievably big, Then there is the
spiritual world which we don’t even know of, There are thousands of
worlds, and millions of angels, and trillions of beings, and they are
all completely annihilated before G-d’s greatness, yet G-d forgets
everything in the world and just takes care of you.
    Please remember how holy it is to be a Yiddeleh, a simple Jew.
Don’t you know G-d created you to learn Torah and to fix the world?
Do you know that every holy thought you have makes a crown for
G-d? If you really make yourself strong, then a flow of sweetness
and purity and holiness flows right into you, and all the gates of
light and joy are open for you. Just keep away from sadness, from
all evil sadness. I know it takes a lot of strength, but realize what
you are doing! Utilize the strength of the whole world; the whole
great, awesome and holy world is waiting for you! Even the angels
in Heaven can’t do anything without you. How can you leave that
which is so sweet and so beautiful, and exchange it for something
which is meaningless? How can you spend one hour with nothing,
when you could spend it in great Heavenly bliss? How can you be so
cruel to yourself?

    It is very hard in the beginning. It is true that at the beginning you
don’t feel anything, but you have already felt the other side. Doing
nothing, you felt the joy of doing nothing. Why don’t you give yourself
a chance once to try how it feels when you do something? It’s
hard, but keep it up. Give yourself a try. Maybe you’ll get there.

    Please remember who you are. Don’t you know you come from
the most hidden, most awesome, most beautiful, most blissful
world? Don’t you know that your soul comes from such a place that
it cannot live without having bliss? How can you suddenly become
an ugly pauper, digging in the garbage pail while all the gates of
Heaven are open for you? Instead of serving G-d, why do you serve
a slave? Do you know how many lights you could draw upon yourself
with every holy word, with every holy thought?

    My child, my child, put everything you have into being happy. Rejoice
every second in G-d and His learning. All the evil in the world
is focused on dragging the joy out of your heart. As long as you stay
completely filled with joy, evil cannot touch you, but the moment
you are not happy anymore, you are capable of doing evil, G-d forbid.
I know you have a heavy burden on your shoulders Can you please let
it go for one minute? Put it on G-d’s shoulders for one minute and
you will see how suddenly the world will be light!

    Have you ever gained anything by being sad? Nothing. You yourself
know how much you gain by being happy. You can go through
all the trials and tests of life when you are happy, when you are

joyous, but even if you are the holiest creat Lire in the world, the
moment you are sad you don’t have strength for the slightest test in life. Oy!

    The evil voice that comes to you and says, “You’re so low, you’re
nothing, you’re not worthy to serve G-d,” is the same little evil voice
which tells you to be sad all your life. Don’t listen to it! Even if you
only did one good thing in your life, that’s enough to dance about!
Isn’t it enough just to know that you are a Yiddeleh? Isn’t it enough
to think that G-d, Creator of Heaven and Earth, is listening to every
word you utter? How can you think you are nothing when G-d is
listening to you? If you stand before G-d and tell Him, “Please G-d,
tell me how to serve You,” don’t you know He is ready to answer
you instantly?

    Every falling down is because you didn’t trust G-d enough, you
didn’t believe enough, and because you didn’t trust and didn’t believe,
you were so sad that you didn’t have strength to do anything.
I am pleading and crying and rolling in ashes before you, and begging
you, please, for five minutes when you pray, open the gates of
your soul, let the gates of Heaven open, and let the great light and
purity flow into you. Open your eyes so the light of Heaven can
touch them and you will be able to see. When you are sad your eyes
are closed, and when you are happy your eyes are open.

    Believe me, G-d knows all your worries, and He is taking care of
them. In the meantime just do your share. It is not enough to just be
happy; you have to tie yourself to happiness, like tying yourself to a
pillar with a rope. If you tie yourself to joy it supports you and
suddenly you have all the energy you need to do what you have to do.
The energy comes from the pillar of joy, and you are tied to it!